Because of you
by pieces of a shattered dream
Summary: Spoilers for 3x11... Kate saw Castle and Natalie kiss before the elevator doors closed. What if she gets jealous this time? Is she finally admitting what she's feeling for him?


She was in no way looking forward to see him today. Or her. No, she even hated the thought of having them both follow her around today – or ever again in his case.

Oh yes, Kate Beckett had been hurt yet again by Richard Castle. Exactly that was the reason she never gave the thought of a real relationship with him a chance. And this last action just reminded her of this again.

She knew he wasn't hers but seeing him kiss _that_ actress cut her deep. _That _actress that was supposed to play her. Kate hated herself for ever even considering liking her.

When she saw them stepping out off the elevator together she cursed the tears that once again welled up in her eyes. She wouldn't cry. No, Kate Beckett never cries – especially not over a guy that wasn't even with her.

"Hi, Beckett." He greeted her when they arrived at her desk. "How was your evening?"

"Not as entertaining as yours, I bet!" she hadn't meant to say that. It just slipped because it was the first thing on her mind.

"Look, maybe I need to.." Nathalie started, realizing immediately that she must have seen them yesterday, but Kate cut her off.

"I think I don't really need to talk about that. It's not like he can't do whatever he wants" She had to turn around at this point, pretending to look for something on her desk, so they would not be able to see her whipping away that one tear that had managed to escape.

"Can I talk to you somewhere?" he asked.

"It's not… I mean I do have work…"

"Please, Kate?" he interrupted her attempt to back out off it.

"Fine." she sighted, turned around and led him into one of the conference rooms.

She leaned against the table, crossing her arms in front of her chest, waiting for him to start talking. Castle however took his time, looking around the room to see if all the blinds were closed before leaning against the door, mimicking her position.

"Could it be that you're jealous?" his voice was serious, not a hint of teasing like she expected.

"Jealous? Why? You're old enough to do whatever you want – or whoever in that case." Her tone was showing her rage and anger she really did not want him to see.

"Here's the deal" he started, now angry himself, his voice a little bit too loud to call it casual. "I'll tell you exactly what happened yesterday, when you finally stop pretending you wouldn't care!"

"Why don't you get it Castle? I don't want to know what blonde bimbo or actress you're currently screwing. Because I _**do**_ not care!"

He knew their fight had gone too far when he saw the tears in her eyes. She never cried. He knew her long enough by now to know that she wasn't crying until it was completely impossible to hold the tears back. He also knew it was his fault this time.

"Kate, I'm so sorry!" he walked over to where she was standing, watching the tears fall even harder the closer he got.

"Go away!" she practically screamed, desperately trying to wipe away the tears but failing.

"Don't touch me!" but she made not attempt to stop him when he took her into his arms. He held her for a long time, just comforting her and trying to calm down her tears. He absently stroke above her hair until she stopped crying.

"Just hear me out, okay?" she nodded into his shirt, never lifting her head from his shoulder. "In order to play any character that's based on you convincingly, she said, she needed one more experience." He stopped when she lifted her head to look at him. With a nod he answered the question her eyes were asking but her mouth couldn't create.

"I told her we aren't, you know, together. When she wanted to kiss me again I told her I still couldn't do it. You want to know why?" He didn't even wait for an answer. "Because of you! Although we are not together I _**do**_ have feelings for you and I'm trying my very best not to hurt you. You weren't supposed to see that yesterday or at least supposed to see all of it. I don't want to be with any other woman Kate. I just want to be with you!"

She heard the seriousness in his voice but what finally made her believe his words was his kiss. It was gentle, caring, loving and he let her decide if she wanted to go further.

"Maybe it wasn't all that bad she made that experience." He said with this smile she came to love so much.

"She's just lucky I hadn't been you girlfriend yesterday."

"Oh, so now you're my girlfriend!"

"If you don't mind"

She was still smiling when his lips met hers once again.


End file.
